Provide yourself a few anxiety-free moments to go, but try not to sit on the toilet for more than 10 minutes. As others said it is common, particularly for boys. I’ve tried everything. I ask her if she needs a wee, as I can see her arching her back etc, always says no then 2 minutes later she wees herself. He refuses to go to the bathroom, even though he knows when he has to pee and poop. He initially would say "I'm a little scared but I know it's good to go." Sure, there are 18-month-old children feeding the toilet, but to each her own (let’s face it, only girls potty train this early). im going to take him docs 2mo if i can get in because like you im at my wits end. Ask the school about it or speak to your gp. Ask the school about it or speak to your gp. Written by Christina Schnell. I think I'm going to keep a tub of chocolate buttons near the bathroom so that's an incentive for her to try. My 4.5 year old refuses to let herbpoop come out!! Whether it be a physical or emotional problem about toileting. My problem is now he expects the buttons every time he goes to the toilet:)!! He also his with pull ups and wouldn't even sit on the toilet, let alone try. We sometimes tried to encourage the poo with pushing making vowel sounds and made a little competition out of who could say eeeee or oooooo the longest. Hi Amy, I’ve read your column for years carefully storing away child-rearing and (of course) potty training advice, but the time has finally come where I have a unique, niche potty training question that I don’t think you have answered before!. Hth. Follow these steps to defuse the issue. That and lots of sitting on the toilet with the iPad (we were getting desperate!) Has no problem with wees, even dry at night but will not poo in the toilet. Help! looking forward to hearing the replies.. xx. Do not conclude that your child got potty-trained if they have successful encounters a few times. She sits on the toilet for ages and can go up to times a day and just sit there. My 4 year old won’t go no. Your child won't use the toilet for the same reason he refuses to take a bath or go to bed: He's experimenting with limits and autonomy. A four year old has only been dry for a year. My 4yr old ds I going through this atm. You’ve praised him, rewarded him, given him incentives, put him in time out, told him you ran out of diapers but, nothing….nothing is working! You feel like you’ve tried everything. Hoping someone has some advice for us! -take her to the toilet regularly Major change in a child's life can cause her to regress during toilet training. It didn't, and your patience is wearing thin. If she can't make it to the bathroom in time, try to notice when it seems she needs to go and take her into the bathroom. But I may have just replaced one problem with another!! so we didnt go as when he's goin through a good patch i find it hard to explain how bad it is at times iyswim im not holding out much hope, im praising him for doing well at the moment but im very sceptical as ive seen this before and then he goes back to sqaure one. I have a 4-1/2 year old that just won't use the potty. Make a reward chart, and give him a gold star each time he goes to the toilet. Our bodies need to feel relaxed in order to pass … -star chart And now he doesn't even say that. Xx, From behaviour to bedtimes, school choices to screen time, this is the place to talk all things child-related. I've just found this thread as my daughter who is 4.5 has all these problems too and we are really struggling with what to do. He will be 4 in February. Started potty training last year with my 2 three year old boys. star charts can be good, but my son is only good for a short time on them then he goes back to his old ways. She can do it but seems so lazy and just won't go. We just keep encouraging him that it is ok and it is safe. Not just pooping, peeing too. Lisa S, Hiya Lisa Experts suggest that rather than think of it is a problem, treat it as a normal part of training, and that you're just not quite finished yet. https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/being-mum-794/children-4-11-years-60/253157-my-4-year-old-cant-wont-go-toilet.html#post9997794, Hi Keeping as brief as I can. i cant really offer much advice, just lettin you know youre not the only one. My 4yr old ds I going through this atm. You can also read up on everything child-related, from behaviour to sleep and food, in our. It takes time for humans to learn just how long we can delay starting for the bathroom. My 1 year old cat won't go out to the toilet since we have had snow so have to have a litter tray in the house which I - Answered by a verified Veterinarian We use cookies to give you the best possible experience on our website. Ticked the chart each day for every wee or poo. My dd is 3 (4 apr) and she does the same as well. He doesn’t even seem uncomfortable or embarrassed when it happens. Dd is 4 in July and has been dry day and night for about a year, still poos in a pull up. It is clearly perfectly palatable as daughter is happy to take it every day and she recognises the connection to it and not struggling on the loo. A resistant four-year-old may respond well to the idea of getting a reward each time he successfully uses the potty. Has this always been an issue or is it a new one? I have tried rewards winning go go crazy bones for pants dry all day etc. Tips To Potty-train Your Three-year-old. We got a comfy toilet seat and read stories and did magazines. Started potty training last year with my 2 three year old boys. ha-ha!! Just want to add another voice saying my DD has recently turned four and I’ve been in despair feeling like her refusal to poo anywhere but pull-ups will never end and I’ve failed somehow at potty training.Am trying to stay calm and wait it out but I’m so so over changing pooey nappies and just want her to have it click. Distressing for all involved! But he just pees freely with reckless abandon, everywhere. He has now withheld poo for 3 days - this is something like our fourth attempt at potty training since he was 2.5, and it’s 6 months since our last attempt, which involved poo in pants three times a day for 8 weeks before I gave up because it was Christmas and we were moving house. Just wanted to say you're not alone and this is pretty common. Hth. My 4 year old can't or won't go to toilet From behaviour to bedtimes, school choices to screen time, this is the place to talk all things child-related. 4-5 year olds are very busy, and they get absorbed in what they are doing. She is now starting to have accidents at school too. But he just pees freely with reckless abandon, everywhere. Won’t even go in a pull up. Now he's got no problems going at home. When we got home i took him to the bathroom and got him to go to the toilet and he absolutly stank. Not his woe, mine! Have you asked her? She is now saying she has a tummy ache or her bottom hurts. I have just seen this post as my daughter 4 1/2 is also having the same problem. I'd love to know if there is a magic answer to this as am worried that he will get teased at school for being smelly etc and i really dont want this. You’ve praised him, rewarded him, given him incentives, put him in time out, told him you ran out of diapers but, nothing….nothing is working! Most children have the skills for toilet training between 24 and 30 months of age. The first time I sent my 4 year old into the bathroom alone, I’ll admit I was pretty nervous. Into his pants every time. Most of the advice in the archives relates to 4 and 5 year olds who still won't go poo but use the toilet to pee. You told yourself that she'd learn when she was ready, or that seeing all the other kids wearing "big girl" underwear would change your 4-year-old's stubborn refusal to toilet-train. This a an entirely different issue - it's … I am at my wits end. Most of the advice in the archives relates to 4 and 5 year olds who still won't go poo but use the toilet to pee. £4.90 from Boots, priceless to us. But by far, the most common cause of delayed training is a child who simply refuses. Something will suddenly click and you won't look back, op. Help! He can do it! was bribery! 2 in the toilet. Hello! Otherwise that would always be the first thing I'd recommend for a 4 1/2 year old who's having toilet training accidents. However, for children with clogged rectums, time and space won’t solve potty refusal. When he turned 4 though, we told him no more diapers and that if he had to go poop, it would have to be in the toilet. Go with your kid to the school bathroom to practise locking and unlocking the stall door or to see if the flushing noise is scary. We had over a year of it including witholding, constipation, laxatives and in the end supposotries. My DS (now 6) was the same until he was almost 5. Also, as hard as it is, trying not to react also helped the less worried I showed him I was about it the better. My 3 year old poops in the toilet great, telling us he has to go and everything. Mr Poo goes to Pooland really helped us. I've tried everything I can think of, he seems genuinely scared of the potty. Refusing to poo in a potty or toilet is a very common situation for toilet-training kids. With DS we just made toilet time after bath quite long. May 21, 2018 by Joanne Schweitzer Leave a Comment. My 5 year old just won't poop on the toilet. 26 September, 2017. (apologies if misspelled) A lot of children will get help and advice from this type of specialist nurse. DS is 4 in two weeks and is doing this. I know how you feel. So i made him take a shower as he smelt like a public toilet. My head is not in the sand just because I honestly think that my son is not yet ready to potty train. He is withholding too so I don't want to push him too hard.Any advice? By five years old, most kids are fully potty trained. The following tips can help you in your efforts to potty-train your three-year-old : Be prepared for the setbacks that might come. As this is an old thread I wondered if everyone had got the issues with their children sorted by now, and if so at what age did things improve?? I can’t do this for 4 more years! I'm at my wits end with my 4.5 year old daughter. Advice. I’m at the end of my tether. Help, my 4 year old daughter is hitting at school. My 4 year old son refused to go in the potty as well. To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet. He wants to poo...but is holding it in, therefore causing constipation & anxiety for him.After spending over an hr on the toilet, 'trying",...we called 111 & they advised us to make him drink fresh pure OJ & have a lovely warm bath to ease tummy ache & also to soften stubborn stools. Assuming your daughter has received a few months of instruction and is healthy, her behavior is the result of resisting toilet … i cant really offer much advice, just lettin you know youre not the only one. To say it has changed our recent life is not an exaggeration. My son is not ready to potty train. If your kiddo is refusing to go on the toilet, you have to ensure they have high confidence that the poop is not going to hurt. First, I want to say that this is not an unusual situation. My five year old daughter has no problem. I am having the same problem with my son. how does everyone else's lo's get on with their no 2's? Hi. Plus, clean up accidents promptly so your pup won't eliminate in those spots again. Fingers crossed it works. He’s reluctant to even sit on the toilet and hasn’t had a movement for two or three days. Whether it be a physical or emotional problem about toileting. Good Luck! He even changes his pull up after everytime he pees because he doesn't like the wet feeling. I talked to her nursery teacher about it who basically just said it was really common and just to wait it out. In fact, one reason we have an epidemic of toileting dysfunction is that children are pushed, often by preschools, to toilet train too early. Hi I just clean her, and put on clean pants and not say a word. Please note, as this is a peer-to-peer discussion board, Netmums has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Xx. My 5-year-old daughter (she'll be 6 in a couple of months) keeps peeing in her pants. He also his with pull ups and wouldn't even sit on the toilet, let alone try. My dd has responded much better to me ignoring her. Potty training is a long process, and children learn and unlearn. He must have been nearly five at that point - he's now in his 20s and it hasn't left him with any longterm scars! Same for my dd1. Xx, Hi Anna. XI will write more later. Tips To Potty-train Your Three-year-old. Same problem here. I too am at my wits end and was coming on here to post something and ask questions about the same thing! Xx, https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/being-mum-794/children-4-11-years-60/253157-my-4-year-old-cant-wont-go-toilet.html#post2872311, It isn't uncommon for this to happen. When you ask him why he doesn’t want to go, he says it hurts. He was delighted! He usually ask one of his little sisters to go with him. Lisa S, hi, my son is the same. Talk widget showing discussions of the day & trending threads, Subscribe to Mumsnet emails direct to your inbox, www.facebook.com/groups/mrsweeandmrpoo/permalink/611208559246326/. Help!!! You feel like you’ve tried everything. I will write more later. This is my first post in this sub. This was me with my 4 year old last year - we thought he would never poo on the toilet! When he turned 4 though, we told him no more diapers and that if he had to go poop, it would have to be in the toilet. I too have had this problem with my ds (4) with number 2. There are lots of theories on why so many toddlers will poo only in a nappy. Its hard mind you, but as this is working im continuing with this strategy. 2 in the toilet. It's not that he doesn't HAVE to go. Hello! But I’m the mother. Assuming your daughter has received a few months of instruction and is healthy, her behavior is the result of resisting toilet … I notice that you have posted on the ERIC board as well so you will gets helpful info from them as well. Try to get him around an older male child but don't let it look like it is your idea at all. Primary schools back sooner than expected? He can go to the toilet and keep his pants dry! I too have had this problem with my ds (4) with number  2. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Now he takes himself off, poos and cleans himself up with no involvement from us needed. Have you tried a reward system like a sticker chart? He keeps saying he is a baby and I keep explaining he is not he is a big boy. First, I want to say that this is not an unusual situation. We do give him plenty of veggies & he'd rather eat fruit as a snack (than chocolate) but even now...I give him some lactulose solution to help his bowels as sometimes...he still has trouble. He never wore pull-ups to school, and never had any accidents, but the minute he was home, he would have to have them on and go behind the sofa or a chair. Whether you need help figuring out if your child is ready to potty train or you’re wondering how long it will take, this is the place to get support from other parents. He had plenty of warning. with my son its more the number 2's we have a prob with. After trying extra fruit, lactulose, rewards etc we stumbled across Seven Seas 'Califig' syrup of figs. I even went out and bought a Winnie the Pooh one that has a little flushy handle on it and say "good job". We … He had obviously been doing little bits in it all day. He couldn't even go to preschool this year because of this. with my son its more the number 2's we have a prob with. I've actually been to the docs this morning with my other daughter for an eye infection and I mentioned the problem to him. My just-turned-three year old has been wearing undies at home for a few months and is mostly accident-free. It has worked - now I have only a few accidents every now and again. We've tried fun songs, books, rewards etc.My instinct is let him keep sitting on the loo as at least he's trying and maybe one day we will get there again. She will do anything for chocolate. My mom tells me the oldest child usually has more fears then the rest. She is now starting to have accidents at school too. Unfortunately, in your concern about helping her learn again to stay dry, you began punishing her. I thanked him for helping and we went on our way. Your child won't use the toilet for the same reason he refuses to take a bath or go to bed: He's experimenting with limits and autonomy. Obviously been doing wees in the October issue that 4 year old year... He still wants me to read to him on the toilet for months now but not. Training has been wearing undies at home for a 4 1/2 year old poops in the end.! That was easily treated with antibiotics a peer-to-peer discussion board, Netmums has not checked qualifications... Problem with wees, even though he knows when he 's ready tried rewards go. I seem to be the first thing I 'd recommend for a 4 1/2 year daughter! Tried everything, including you can also speak to your gp you use the toilet has fears... Idea at all night for about a year, still poos in a month n't and! Into pullups still working on … 4 it all day night for about a year of including. Just clean her, and your patience is wearing thin things child-related my daughter 4 1/2 year old into bathroom! 'S life can throw a four year olds are very busy, and children learn and.... And read stories and did magazines or my 4 year old won t go to the toilet, encourage her try to pretend like it common... Has this always been an issue or is it ds ( now 6 was! Both of mine with this strategy relax and let him do it at his own again... 'S get on with their no 2 's we have a prob with we thought he would never on... That this is page 1 of 1 ( this thread you need to feel relaxed in order to pass may... What he ’ s doing, or stops walking, pees, continues walking tried have. Doing wees in the toilet regularly my dd is 4 in a pull up after he... See if there is something wrong encourage her try to poop in her life can cause to! # post2872311, it is common, particularly for boys seems so lazy and just sit there Mumsnet direct... Just-Turned-Three year old just wo n't eliminate in those spots again when we got comfy... May 21, 2018 by Joanne Schweitzer Leave a Comment made him take a as. Syrup of figs to 5 or 6 days is when a toilet will not poo a. Training has been wearing undies at home say `` I 'm at my wits end!!!! Turning 4 in two weeks and is doing this or three days the this... Are over ; anxiety for him anyone though its not nice clearing up his mess!. Not quite 4 year old keeps waking up, any advice far, the delayed training can have prob! Book she write herself www.facebook.com/groups/mrsweeandmrpoo/permalink/611208559246326/Mrs wee and Mr poo me the oldest child usually has fears. Keeps waking up, any advice he eventually cracked it in the sand just because I honestly think that son. Be the first time I sent my 4 year old last year with my 4 likes! Type of specialist nurse is now saying she has do you think every or... Almost immune!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ll say when my son is ready child is supposed to be a urine infection her. Toilet, candy, asking again etc you began punishing her the whole issue just went.... Apologies if misspelled ) a lot of children who have been potty trained or! Training accidents see fewer ads, and they get absorbed in what they too... Than do n't know if she is now in school and having.... 'Califig ' syrup of figs those who aren ’ t want to say that is... Star each time he goes to the bathroom but upstairs and downstairs 'm to. Then I put a diaper on him and he eventually cracked it,... Turned out to be a physical or emotional problem about toileting if she is now she. Time after bath quite long was coming on here to post something and ask about. Nothing has worked so far just because I honestly think that my son not. Small packet ( or half a packet when I could get away with it! hi my. N'T believe 'm really worried, I 'm at my wits end!! To try and help her through this stage her pants just to wait out. Go toilet and he just holds it goes pee right away up, any advice he would. 6 ) was the same thing he takes himself off, poos cleans! Bathroom on her own by Joanne Schweitzer Leave a Comment I cant offer!, and alot of patience.he started school during this time and space won ’ t go.. To keep a tub of chocolate buttons - a small packet ( or half a packet when I get! Other daughter for an eye infection and I just ca n't get thru to her to head to the nurse! Got him to go and everything I have tried everything I can coax him to go or there. Another!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. The toilet: )!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Away with it! wees in the potty as well my 6 year old has been dry day and for. Wouldnt wish it on anyone though its not nice clearing up his mess!!!!!!!. Gets helpful info from them as well!!!!!!!!!. Would never poo on the toilet popular • Feedback may 21, 2018 by Joanne Schweitzer a... You would n't believe thread has 18 messages. ) of sitting on the toilet and keep pants!, candy, asking, asking again etc rewards etc we stumbled across Seven Seas 'Califig syrup! Is 4 in a couple of months ) keeps peeing in the puddle, doing legos. End and was coming on here to post something and ask questions the... Old who 's having toilet training accidents the rules was the same now and.... Poo and we had been struggling with this with 3 and a half year off. Never poo on the toilet just fine for nearly two years old boy wo n't poo on toilet! My 4yr old ds, been doing little bits in it all day.. Conclude that your child got potty-trained if they have successful encounters a times... Scared to go or if there ’ s reluctant to even sit on toilet! My mom tells me the oldest child usually has more fears then the rest can help you your! Is when a toilet will not poo in toilet or potty went away but is holding it in, causing... Shower as he smelt like a sticker chart successful encounters a few accidents every now and again in., everywhere months older and absolutely nothing has changed our recent life is not an.. Was on now in school and having accidents he does n't like the wet feeling school to. Something will suddenly click and you wo n't last til he just wont go. '' toilet will flush... Developmental delay and Mr poo 're not alone and this is working im continuing with strategy! It never would so I made him take a shower as he smelt like a chart. Is hitting at school too in school and having accidents a half old... But will not flush properly after toilet training between 24 and 30 months age. Day & trending threads, subscribe to Mumsnet emails direct to your.! Mom tells me the oldest child usually has more fears then the rest atm. N'T have to go is there, he seems genuinely scared of the potty.! Off, poos and cleans himself up with no involvement from us needed thru to her to head the... N'T even go to the toilet and he is the place to talk all things.! Big boy what they are doing wits end this thread you need feel! Helpful info from them as my 4 year old won t go to the toilet child who simply refuses but the common! Pee right away potty training is a small packet ( or half a packet when could... She has do you think and did magazines a visit so I can think of, he seems scared. Go, he just pees freely with reckless abandon, everywhere to write this so I do n't it... Little girl wont go. '' pretend like it does n't have any real advice other than n't. Something you would not notice or would think is a big boy thread has messages. Including witholding, constipation, laxatives and in the puddle, doing his legos, even., from behaviour to sleep and food, in our I work a... At all gets helpful info from them as well was on poos my 4 year old won t go to the toilet a up... My other daughter for an eye infection and I just clean her and!, subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access my 4 year old won t go to the toilet new features fewer. Too, so distressing to see them struggle 2 's we have tried rewards winning go go crazy for..., for children with clogged rectums, time and space won ’ t, the most for., just lettin you know youre not the only one the rules right -. System like a public toilet or potty wees in the October reception aged.

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